xtoolfreakx's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -.where.is.my.mind.- You make me come You make me complete You make me completely miserable --- There are these times in my where she makes me so sick that I just want to vomit all over her. Then there are other times where I just want to sit next to her and hold her hand.. or wrap my arms around her and sleep peacefully. Unfortunatly, I can't do both at the same time. I can't be with her. Not right now. We can't even get along for the whole day. It drives me crazy... she drives me crazy. She gets mad over the smallest things. She calls me a bitch... she calls me stupid. All in hurtful ways. Even when I'm not going anything wrong. I'm just hoping that one day she'll realize all the things she should have said or shouldn't have said.. and she'll smack herself on the forehead and say, "Fuck, I'm stupid." Just one day. I couldn't explain what is going on with me even if I tried. I feel like I'm too old to be going through some of the shit I deal with. Because I don't have to deal with it. Not if I don't want - and I think I've already proved that. It's too frustrating. I don't deal with stress too well - I just push it away, hoping that it'll go away on its own. People will never realize that one they'll be all by themselves with no one to comfort them. There' always that saying, "Don't burn your bridges after you cross them, you might need to get back across one day." I know of someone in particular that is burning her's while she's standng on them. Just setting her own body ablaze... then she finds someone to blame for her charred and cracking skin - and I'm the one she blames. But she doesn't ever see me, standing on one of the sides with a bucket of water just for her - trying to rebuild those bridges. She'll never see me above the flames. 12:56 a.m. - 2003-02-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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