xtoolfreakx's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- one day at a time i wrote this during history... i wish i knew just how to make things better. we won't survive without this trust. but i'm working - thinking things out slower. i'd like to share my thoughts with you. download it into your head with a cable. it's the newer better version. i bite my nails down closer to the beds - a sting of pain runs through my hands. i zone out and think about you. daydreaming is so good. i can be with you anytime i want. maybe not the actual way, but i can see, and feel you - and a calm sigh escapes my lips before i even realize it. i think about how you're so great - and cute. i think about your laugh. and just when i have the biggest grin on my face - i think about your pain and your scars - it rips at my insides and makes them burn. how could i have done that? i say to myself "she deserves more - not someone like me." then i'm reminded by how much in love i am with you, and i fight the lump forming in my throat. and the professor keeps talking... something about totum poles... there's this light up above me, to the left - and it keeps flickering on and off. just waiting for it's time to blow. or maybe it's just not screwed in tight enough. it's like me - it can be saved, but someone has to drag out the ladder and climb up there. but it just keeps flickering - wonder how long its been like that. i just need a ladder... you can hear a thunder of foot steps coming down the stairs. you can tell when classes get out - there is just a roar of people in the halls. it's time to face the cold and walk alone to the thought of her... 8:24 p.m. - 2004-01-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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