xtoolfreakx's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -.i'm.falling.apart.at.the.seams.- I don't know what to feel anymore. My emotions couldn't possibly be more up and down. It's like a fucking rollercoaster. I can't believe all these things that have happened to me. I can't stand it, but yet I welcome the unpredicted. I just don't understand. I have so many things to do in such a little time. But I find myself in the past. Re-living moments in my dreams, waking up with a smile on my face just so it can then turn into a frown. I wish I could stop remembering waking up next to her. I wish I could stop remembering the way I told her I loved her. I hope I plague her mind as much as she does mine. I don't know if it's because I still love her or if I just wish I could love her again, like I use to. With her beside me... her arms wrapped around my waist. God, I wish I could just push her out... once and for all. Everything is so hopeless - it just gets worse and worse. I want to get to that point where I don't have to worry about a damn thing. Soon... If only I had known then what I knew now. Now I'm being faced with a sex offender charge... for having sex with a minor when I was 18. I'm guessing my ex's parents filed this. I'm hoping that nothing will come of it - considering it was a homosexual relationship. ::sigh:: Could things possibly get any worse for me? I'll pull that trick where I'll think of a worse situation I could be in... like, I could be homeless and a crackhead. See, that makes me feel a little bit better. I'm looking for someone to help me forget... "You said I tasted famous so I drew you a heart - now I'm not an artist, I'm a fucking work of art." 11:40 a.m. - 2003-06-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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