xtoolfreakx's Diaryland Diary

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-.comfort.me.-

i don't know how i'm supposed to feel anymore with all of these mix of feelings. it's hard to pick and chose which ones are right and which ones are wrong.

i love her - i truely do. and i'm so scared that i'm going to fuck it all up one day and she'll want nothing more to do with me. i started believe a few months ago that she was the one for me. that she is the reason why i'm still breathing - and she still is. she is the reason i feel the way i do everyday - smiling when i wake up because i see her face and her smile. she brings me so much joy that she wants to be a part of me and vica versa. sometimes i want to be inside her mind so that i wouldn't have to question her words - because i always end up not understanding them. maybe a tour into her mind would give me the insight on her. but i can't just go proding in her brain - seeing what makes the cogs turn. one day i hope she understands that i wouldn't want anything else but for her to be happy with me and to not say half those things that she does. because they aren't the truth - not to me. but i just can't get past a lot of things dealing with me. not this minute - but perhaps, one day. tomorrow, or the next day after that i hope that i will. it will happen. she will see. because i love her and i want her to be standing next to me years from now with that same smile on her face that she gives me now when she sees me.

9:32 a.m. - 2003-03-11

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