xtoolfreakx's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -.tearing.away.- Have you ever thought that you knew something so well -that nothing about it could ever go wrong, and then it does? Things come crashing down.. an abrupt stop, and you're still wondering around saying "Okay, now, what the fuck just happened here?" It's not fair. But nothing's ever supposed to be fair. Not with me. I always get the short end of everything. I get happiness - but only for a short amount of time and then someone decides that I've had enough and that I'm not worthy enough for happiness. They snatch it away from me... I feel caught - like I really don't know what to feel. I feel lost and found at the same time. Maybe everything's not going to be so bad. Perhaps it just seems like it right now. But there's that underlying feeling that says "No you dipshit, nothing's ever going to be the same again and you know it." Yes - I do know this. I'll miss a lot of things. Today's my birthday and I was so excited before... but now it doesn't matter. There's nothing to be happy about any more... not now. ----- "That will be three thousand dollars", she said as the cash register chimed open and she handed me my heart in a brown paper bag, wrapped in butcher paper. "You know it makes a bitter broth.", says the old woman behind me in line. I clutch my package and step out into the cold. The wind blows right through me and I can't decide which hurts more. 8:21 a.m. - 2002-12-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||