xtoolfreakx's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .my.time.stopped. Let's go back to the past: My mother has been sick for 6 years. She got progressivly worse as the years past. For the past month she has complained about her right hip hurting. Unbearable pain. Now let me talk about events that have gotten me to where I am now. Last Wednesday, I was helping my mother out of a chair, and she fell. We couldn't do anything to help her up, so we called the ambulance. They took her to the local hospital and reported that no damage was done and that she was free to go home. They also increased her pain medication to help with the pain from her hip. Thursday morning she said that she was better, but it was clear that she wasn't. She was in the worst pain that she had ever experienced, which is saying alot. By the end of the day, she had gotten worse. To the point to where she couldn't even stand up without almost falling again. So we called the ambulance again. And they took her to the same hospital. They took x-rays of her right hip and found that it was broken. They sent to her a bigger hospital an hour away in Jonesboro. I told my mother that my sister and I would drive up to Jonesboro Friday afternoon to come see her before she hip surgery. We got there 20 minutes before she went off to surgery. We said our 'I love you's' and told her that we would see her in a few hours. The surgery took longer than expect. The doctors called throughout it to give reports on how she was doing. She was doing just fine. The last call that we recieved said that she was going to be down in 2 hours because she was in Intensive Care. It was really late, so my sister and I told my grandmother that we were going to go ahead and make the hour long trip back home, and come back on Sunday to see mom. We also told her that we were going to make a few stops at some book stores on the way home. My sister and I were about to walk out of Books-a-Million when we got a page over the intercome. We go up there and it's my grandmother saying that she had stopped breathing and we needed to come back to the hospital. We ran to the car, and got there as quick as we could. When we got to the room we started making phone calls to loved ones, telling them the situation. 20 minutes later the doctor came back up, quietly entered the room and sat next to my grandmother, pulling her close. Then he says, "I'm so sorry. We did everything that we could, but she didn't make it." Time stopped. And I suddenly thought, "What in the fuck am I going to do?" I could hear my sister screaming no over and over again. I can still hear her. My mother was 44 years old. And she had fought a long battle for 6 years. She was a good person with a great sense of humor. I'm proud that she was my mother. And I would give anything for another 5 minutes with her. The memories I hold close to me are the times that I would sit next to her on her bed and just hold her hand and talk to her. Like a child would. I would sell my soul just to be able to hold her hand again. 7:57 p.m. - 2001-11-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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