xtoolfreakx's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- �Ch�ld�h� So I'm sitting here... I decided to post... well, for no reason at all. I don't really have anything to say. So I suppose that I should just keep talking until I think that I'm through. Let's start with my mood: Hollow. Why do I feel hollow? It's like I don't have anything, I never had anything to begin with, possibly. Maybe it's because I see everyone else so happy. But maybe they aren't. Maybe they are just like me, and hide. That's a possibility. I feel like I don't know anything. Like I'm just a pile of nothingness. Like a child. Waiting to be picked up, hugged, and told everything will be alright. Those times are over, though. So what am I to do now? Nothing, I suppose. Maybe just sit here for a bit longer and stare at the candles burning. Watching time fly by while it goes nowhere. I'm suffering, and I did it to myself. Why do I allow myself to wallow in this? Why do I let those things bother me? Why do I keep asking rhetorical questions? ::sigh:: I have 2 cigarettes left. When I'm done with those, I will try to slip into a cough syrup comatose slumber. I hate colds. They bring me down. Things aren't working out very well for me. I don't think I'm going to be able to make it to the second cigarette. Medicine is kicking in. So I'm babbling and getting nowhere. I wish I had a chance to get fucked up. I never had to think then. I was so high, but yet I stayed on the ground. A temporary release. Covering up symptoms. Mask them. Oh well. I was doing well, for awhile. I wish I could just throw everything away. But getting out of here is a goal of mine. Out of where, you might ask? Out of Newport, Arkansas, that's where. "Welcome to Newport, folks. Have a nice stay. Oh, and don't forget to set your watch back 5 years upon entering." I missed that note. I think that I'm through. I have nothing else to think about. Or babble about. So go on about your merry way. "This is how you remind me of what I really am..." - Nickelback 12:04 a.m. - 2001-09-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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